February 18, 2009

Non-Packer Who Will Never Be a Packer Who We Wish Was a Packer of the Week (NPWWNBPWWWWPOW)

Julius Peppers


Photo taken shortly after eating Dan Morgan’s Achilles tendon

Position: DE in 4-3; OLB in 3-4; PF in Basketball
Specs: 6’7”, 283 lbs
Age: 28
Team: Carolina Panthers (Unrestricted Free Agent as of February 20, 2009)
Notable Stat: Registered double digit sacks in 7 of 9 NFL seasons

Why He’d Fit in Green Bay: Poppinga. Hawk. Chillar. Bishop. POPPINGA!!!

Peppers is the best athlete in the NFL. Period. He’s the best pass rusher and arguably most physically intimidating player in the league, and could probably be the best tight end given his basketball background. He has said he wants the opportunity to play LB in a 3-4 defense. Despite his dominance, Julius is a total non-turd, never demanding a trade or complaining about how much Jake Delhomme sucks, and only recently, and privately, has expressed to Carolina management that he does not want to be slapped with the franchise tag. The Pack’s hiring of Mike Trgovac as d-line coach (who has been Peppers’ defensive line coach or defensive coordinator his entire career) can’t hurt.

Why He’ll Never Play in Green Bay: Carolina will probably franchise Julius as soon as they sign left tackle Jordan Gross to an extension. Also, Ted Thompson’s distinct lack of testicles precludes the Pack from making a big splash in free agency (even if it yielded him their best player in one Charles C. Woodson).

Sorry Packer fans. File Peppers’ name under the NPWWNBPWWWWPOW tab. And watch helplessly as Peppers makes this happen to Aaron Rodgers for years to come:

Rodgy's Worst Nightmare


UPDATE: Julius Peppers just picked 4 teams he'd be willing to be traded to if he got franchised. Guess who didn't make the cut? Brace yourself for the Chillar Era, my fellow Cheeseheads.

1 comment:

  1. You're missing the obvious here. Julius listed the Cowboys as one of his potential trade locations. And while the Cowboys are currently set at OLB, Julius has the inside knowledge that the Cowboys are sending DeMarcus Ware to the Packers for a conditional 7th rounder in 2018.

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